Table of Contents

Chapter One: A Love Story About Divorce
 
1  Our Story
  1  A Healing Divorce
  3  You Can Do It, Too

  7  Carolyn's Story

12  Chapter Two: Parting Through Divorce

21  Conscious Parting
21  Living In in "Crazy Time"
25  The Leaver And The Left
32  Third-Party Complications
36  No Man's Land And Shadows
39  Making Haste Slowly
44  Going Public
49  Ending With An Open Heart

52  Scott's Story

63  Chapter Three: Ritual, Religion and Divorce
63  The Christian Tradition
71  The Jewish Tradition

78  Margaret's Story

81  Jim's Story

87  Chapter Four: Preparing the Ritual of Parting
87  Ritual And You: Yes, You
89  With Or Without Your Partner?
91  Setting Your Intention
93  Right Timing
96  Ritual Prior To A Legal Divorce
98  Ritual At The Time Of A Legal Divorce
99  Ritual Following A Legal Divorce
101  A Second Ritual
103  Practical Matters
103  Where? Sacred Space
104  When? Sacred Time
106  Witnesses
108  Including The Children
108  Music
109  Clothing

111  Lea and David's Story

121  Chapter Five: Performing the Ritual of Parting
121  Before You Begin
122  Speaking Your Intention, Invoking Sacred Energies.
123  Open, Honest, Transparent and Undefended
126  A Tribute To The Relationship
129  Letting Go Of The Past: Sharing Gratitude
131  Releasing The Future
132  Forgiveness
135  What About The Rings?
136  Vows And Commitments: An Intention Of The Future
138  Leaving Sacred Space
139  After The Ceremony: The Neutral Zone

143  Colette's Story

150  Kurt's Story

157  Chapter Six: Ritual and Children
157  Memories And Regrets
158  Children And Divorce
161  How Ritual Helps Children Cope With Divorce
168  A Model Ceremony That Includes Children

173 
Marcy's Story

181  Chapter Seven: A Ceremony Planner

194  Nancy's Story

201  Chapter Eight: Lovers to Friends
201  Friends? With My Ex?
206  What Does Friendship Mean?
209  How Do They Do That?

219  Anne's Story

223  Chapter Nine: Bearing Witness

239  Jessie's Story

241  Chapter Ten: Full Spiral

256  Matthew and Anne's Story

265 Chapter Eleven: Rituals and Ceremonies of Parting
265 Ceremony of Parting: Phil and Barbara Penningroth (Ecumenical)
283 A Service of Recognition, Resolution and Renewal: Scott Small (United Methodist)
291 Outline for a Ritual of Healing and Closure: G.  Margaret Downs (Adapted from Roman Catholic Liturgy)
293 Service of Lamentation and Healing: Julie Griffith (Presbyterian)
298 A Ritual in Which Only One Spouse Participates (United Methodist)
302 A Ritual for the Congregation (United Methodist)
304 A Service of the Holy Eucharist and Healing: The  Liturgy of Healing and Wholeness and Blessing of Singularity: Dr. Kay Collier-Slone (Episcopalian)
314 Order for Recognition of the End of a Marriage (United Church of Christ)
319 The End of a Marriage (Unitarian)
324 Transformative Divorce Ceremony (Unity)
328 Ceremony of Dissolution (Christian, Gay)
333 Ceremony of Divorce: Marianne Williamson (Ecumenical)
336 Ritual of Separation and Release (Reform Jewish)
341 A Ceremony for Divorce: Earl Grollman (Reform Jewish)
344 A Ritual for Saying Shalom: Jim Bleiberg (Reform Jewish)
350 A Prayer of Release: Allen Maller (Reform Jewish)
353 Going of the Ways (Neo-Pagan)
356 Rory's Two Healthy Parting Rituals (Neo-Pagan)
357 The Divorce Ritual: James Gamble (Ecumenical)
361 The Heart of Parting: Alan Cohen (Ecumenical)
362 A Ritual Incorporated into a Service of Remarriage (United Methodist)
364 A Ceremony for the New Family (Ecumenical)
367 Appendix
367 Bibliography
375 Recommended Reading
385 People Who Can Help You Create A Ceremony

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